Treading

Hello world where have I been?
Searching this long and I stand alone with nothing to win
Stand up and scream aloud
Where do I go from here and how
Save me from myself please
Begging and pleading I give all I need
Treading on the water of the world

Blank

Blank canvas today
Stuck in the color grey
Looking back to an open space
Never thought this would be the case
So much time has passed
How did I ever last
Facing new fears
No one will ever see my tears
Who will join me
Dreadful its not what it seems
Stepping into a new me
Wondering all the time who it will be
Who ever wants to be alone
From the shadows I sit at home

Desire

Unwilling and never changing
Looking for something that is fading
Walk faster to your dream
Don't fight because no one can hear your scream
Break away from the mold
Desire is what you need to stand out and be bold
Let it go and be strong
You can't hold on forever just to belong
Grab your heart and hold it tight
In the end thats all you have just to stand up for the fight

Unwilling

Fighting for a chance
Tempted to glace
Newly paved smooth and straight
Too soon to walk on don’t give me your bait
You all look the same
Perfect is what you claim
Trust is far and long gone
Every time I always sing that same song
Can’t help but compare to the past
That part of me is forever gone at last
Walking away from the old
Finally finding out some new
So hesitant to even get a taste
Knowing at some point it will be a waste
Ending up the same as it started
I’m better off departed
Never thought I would get this far
Almost falling lifeless feeling my scar
Unwilling to give all of me

Confusion

Lost in my own confusion
I am starting to fall into a delusion
Of what I thought love could be
I never saw what blinded me
Looking for the right fit
Everything that comes to me doesn’t seem to make it
Searching through the smoky haze
I can’t see what is in front of me
I’ve been lost for days
Finding something wrong with every one of them
I refuse to settle for what I don’t want again
I set my standard high this time
I have to push them aside and find out what is really mine
Confused I wander through the darkness
If I shut my eyes too long it may all be missed
Still in the back of my mind
It is taking much longer this time
This is how it is supposed to feel
Dark and alone I am the only one here
Blurred with thoughts of not knowing what to do
I change my mind everyday thinking it will all be through
So much for me to figure out
This time around there has to be no doubt
I don’t even know if that’s what I want
I’m doing fine without it I almost forgot
The confusion has set in
Eventually I will sort my thoughts
And I will know where to begin
2006

Staring

Staring into the open space
I have been alone so long
I no longer see your face
Trusting what I know lies beneath the core
I followed you but stopped at your door
Trying so hard not to wonder
I have been here forever
Will it ever be like it was before
Will I ever find someone who will be my cure
For what love and hope I ever had
I wonder in my loneliness are you ever sad
Lying to save your own thoughts
Was I that bad for you to forget our past
Eventually I will rebuild what I lost
My heart will mend itself and forget at what cost
I deserve more than you could ever give
You kicked me down and now I will live
Searching forever to find what is mine
I have to wait and just give it time
2006

Truth

Finally the truth came out
I never really had any doubt
One stupid page disclosed your hidden agenda
It crossed my mind once or twice that you would befriend her
How long will it take for you to realize
That what you have done just caused your own demise
Taking steps backwards towards someone you’re not
Now how will you get out of this who would have thought
You have failed at being faithful and honest
All that has done was made any feeling for you regress
Ashamed that I ever let you through my door
I’m shutting it forever you will never break my core
Why would you do such a thing to me
I should have known it was that obvious to be seen
Don’t ever let me see you out with her
I refuse to see what you have become it will just be a blur
I hate you for making me like this
Didn’t take long at all for you to get in someone else’s kiss
I hope thoughts of me cross your mind every day
That way I will know that you realized you fucked up when I went away
Never again will I think of you as I did in the past
You bruised my heart and scarred me so fast
I hope your happy now with the bed you just made
Knowing who you were I should have seen the game you played
You are out of my life forever
I now see that I will always be better
2006